If

Thinking of how poets love words has got me thinking about words.  I remembered this book I bought ages ago called One Word. It's a series of essays by a bunch of different authors, each about their favorite word, or at least a word they think is interesting.  For some it's a memory that goes along with the word, for some it's just the word, for some it's all the different connotations that go with a word.   I haven't read all of it, but have read some of it and think the idea of a whole essay--some really long essays--on a single word is intriguing. 

Lately I've been thinking about the word, If.  It's so small, with one pretty letter and one ugly letter (In my opinion), but it can do so many things.  If opens up so many possibilities for fiction.  If you start with If, it opens more questions than answers.  Ondaatje opens his novel, In the Skin of a Lion, with, "If he is awake early enough..."  And the entire chapter, I kept thinking, What if he didn't wake early enough?  What if he slept in?  Would we even have the rest of the novel? 

Is a story ever finished, if you start it with If?  If you start with If, the rest is just one possiblity.  You could have an entire beautiful story with the perfect ending, but in the end, the entire thing is based on the that first word.  If this story happens, it's beautiful;  If it doesn't... what is it?  The possibilities are endless. 
 
If is a promise: 'If you do your chores...'
If is a threat: 'If you don't...'
Slap an Only on its back, and If is tragic:  'If only...'
Make it chase a What, and If is the door to the imagination: 'What if...'

In the end, this question is what the writer answers.  'If a girl wakes up fat, what would happen?  If a man explodes? If someone cheats?  If a lover dies?  If love is forbidden?  If there were magic?'

Writing, at least for me, begins with an If, and ends with finding the answer to it.
 
Or at least an answer to it.